Dear Future Boyfriend;
I’m not in the best mental/emotional health. I’ve been hurt a lot over the past year and it’s going to take some time for me to heal and fix myself. I don’t like to make-out. I actually find it kind of gross to have someone’s tongue in my mouth. I don’t know how to ride a bicycle so don’t expect me to get on the back of a Harley any time soon (ever). You need to be able to swear by pinky promises; That shit is code. I really hope you have a good sense of humor or we may never get along. I would like you to be accepting and understanding of my flaws. I have pretty bad anxiety, and happen to sweat the small stuff. I’m TERRIFIED of heights, and I don’t do roller-coasters. If at a carnival, however, I will play lots of games and hold your things for you if need be; I will still enjoy myself. I want you to be able to support me with my goals, and comfort me when times are tough. You will have to kill all the bugs because I’m terrified of them. I don’t do sports. At all. No question. I am very involved with music, however, and was born with the talent to sing very well. If you can play guitar, we could possibly be a musical match made in heaven. I am a very girly girl. I wear dresses about 90% of the time, and enjoy the girly things in life. I hope you’re okay with taking cute pictures because I want to have lots of memories I can keep. If/when you decide to watch movies with me, you must know; I’m a crier. If you decide to cuddle, prepare to get tear-stained. I make extremely weird food. For instance; I eat nutella and cream cheese on toast. Please don’t be grossed out, because the things I make are usually quite delicious. Ask my friends. When it comes to gifting, don’t buy me flowers. As much as it is cute to receive them and all, I don’t like the smell of them, and find them to be quite pointless. All they are is something to look at. I like gifts that I can use or eat. I WILL draw you pictures and leave little notes in your stuff. I will also bake you things; I’m pretty good at it. DO NOT lie to me. That’s the worst thing you could possibly do to me. Tell me the truth, even when it hurts. I will find out. I’m quite intelligent. I enjoy reading. Hopefully, we could sit down and read books together. The little things matter. Do not stop doing them after you already have me. Because don’t forget, you can still lose me. Please be patient with me. I get irritated really easily, and I’ll vent and go off like a little bitch. Please don’t get annoyed. Just hug me and tell me to forget about it. This almost ALWAYS works. You must be willing to journey to the doctor/dentist office with me. I cannot face it alone, and probably never will be able to. I will randomly start talking in a variety of different accents just to be silly. I hope you will tolerate all of these things, and love me unconditionally.
Your Future Girlfriend.